3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
