turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
