Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
