You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize