he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
