you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
