someone owes me an orgasm
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As shirtless as possible
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
