just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
