last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
