I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
