did you get engaged???
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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