And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
