your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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