I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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