HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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