____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
