I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
