check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
