I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
