It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
