As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
