i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
