I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
