I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
