i would punch a child for taco bell
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
