Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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