I'm jealous of your bromance
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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