I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
