When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
