So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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