I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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