Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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