So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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