just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
