After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
