Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
