between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
