i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
