If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
