My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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