we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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