you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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