I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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