Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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