I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
