Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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