i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
