I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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