All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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