....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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